Salamander Resort (Middleburg, VA): A

Salamander is one of the few resorts near Washington that actually delivers on the fantasy it sells. This is quiet luxury done correctly--polished without being stuffy, elegant without trying too hard, and exactly what you hope for when escaping to Virginia horse country.

The location is a huge advantage because you can walk into town instead of feeling trapped at the resort. The grounds are beautiful, the rooms are spotless, the service is excellent, and everything feels thoughtfully maintained. Some of the activities are definitely overpriced, but if you're already spending over a thousand dollars a night, you've probably made peace with that reality before arrival.

Verdict: A true luxury retreat that earns its reputation. I do have a bone to pick with Harrimans, their fancy restaurant, but that rant lives under Restaurants of the USA.  Ass hats there.

Crystal Dreams Yacht (Caribbean): A

I booked a four-night floating "hotel stay" aboard this 54-foot catamaran through Sanderson Yachting LLC, and from start to finish it was exceptional. Sanderson absolutely outperformed every other charter company we contacted in St. Martin. They were responsive, professional, flexible, and remarkably patient while I repeatedly changed plans for a group of nine bouncing between St. Martin and Anguilla.

The stars of the week were Captain Josh and Keagan. The yacht was spotless, beautifully maintained, genuinely comfortable, and blessed with air conditioning that actually worked. The crew had the rare ability to know exactly when to join the fun and when to disappear. Captain drinks at 5 p.m. quickly became a daily tradition.

Keagan completely stole the show. Her food felt lighter and healthier than expected without sacrificing indulgence. The snapper and broth were so good I would have happily eaten the broth for breakfast.

Minor nitpicks only: I'd love slightly better-tasting water onboard and perhaps one more appetizer or salad course. But that feels unfair considering Keagan seemed to be cooking all day, every day.

Verdict: I'm ruined for future charters. This was luxury without stiffness, relaxed without sloppiness, and one of the most joyful travel experiences I've ever had.  I plan on sobering up soon and taking off the weight.  Except I just booked Addison’s in San Diego.  Ugh, my pants will never fit again.

Square Nine Hotel (Belgrade, Serbia): B+

I'm conflicted. On paper, Square Nine is exactly where I'd tell someone to stay in Belgrade. The location is phenomenal, just a block from the pedestrian district that completely stole my heart. The hotel is beautiful, the front desk was polished and attentive, the room was comfortable, and the sheets and pillows were the best of our entire trip. The hand soap smelled so good I briefly considered taking it home. Add a Michelin-starred restaurant downstairs, and I was already mentally writing an A.

Then, before 8:00 a.m., someone from housekeeping simply walked into our room. No knock. No "housekeeping." No pause. Just...opened the door and walked in. My partner was naked. I was standing there in a towel. It wasn't just embarrassing. It completely changed how I felt about the hotel. Privacy and security are non-negotiable at this level, and once they're gone, they're hard to earn back. We immediately put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door and declined housekeeping for the rest of our stay because neither of us felt comfortable again.

To their credit, the front desk was genuinely upset and apologized appropriately. They also comped breakfast. Nice gesture. Wrong solution. I'm still deciding how much one major failure should outweigh everything else they did so well.

Verdict: Everything about Square Nine says luxury. Unfortunately, someone walking unannounced into my room is the thing I remember most. I'm reserving judgment until I've had a little more time to decide whether this was an isolated mistake or a deal breaker.

Grecian Park Hotel (Protaras, Cyprus): B+

Grecian Park sits in one of the most beautiful corners of Cyprus. The dramatic cliffs, crystal-clear water, and nearby sea caves are absolutely spectacular. While this wasn't my favorite part of the island overall, it's hard to argue with the scenery. The hotel itself is lovely. The pool is the star of the property, and the poolside drink service was outstanding. We found several cocktails we genuinely loved, and the prices were refreshingly reasonable. The food, however, never rose above average. Breakfast was perfectly good with plenty of options, but the restaurants felt underwhelming for a hotel in this setting. Also, if you're going to hand me sparkling wine all weekend, at least offer sparkling water with the same enthusiasm.

The walk down to the public beach is a workout, but the water is worth every step. Just remember you'll have to make the climb back up. This feels like a very good four-star hotel rather than a true luxury resort, and that's perfectly fine. I just wanted a few more thoughtful touches. Put out complimentary sunscreen. Run the beach shuttle more than once an hour. Little details like that separate a good hotel from a great one.

I enjoyed my stay and would happily return if I were exploring eastern Cyprus again. I simply wouldn't choose it over some of the other parts of the island that completely stole my heart.

Verdict: Beautiful setting, excellent pool, and great value. Come for the scenery and the cocktails, not the food.

Alasia Boutique Hotel (Limassol, Cyprus): B

This is one of the more conflicted reviews I've written because Alasia does a lot right... and then trips over the basics. The hotel itself is lovely. The lobby is gorgeous, the rooms are comfortable and well-appointed, and the breakfast is excellent with enough variety to keep you happy for several mornings. The restaurant team was wonderful, although I remain baffled that a hotel in Cyprus serves almost no Cypriot food. You're on an island with an incredible culinary tradition. Lean into it.

The location was my biggest strategic mistake. I chose it because it looked central, but it isn't really close enough to anything. Old Town Limassol is about a thirty-minute walk, the beach requires a drive, and most of the major sights are farther away than I'd like. Next time I'd stay at a beach resort and simply drive into town. Then came the service issues. At over €550 a night, details matter. I asked for the sofa bed to be made up and was handed sheets instead. Nobody pointed out the rooftop jacuzzi. The room was advertised as a city view, which apparently means "enjoy this lovely parking lot."

The deal breaker, however, was the toilet. It took three visits to address a flushing problem, and after hours of the toilet continuously running, the third technician asked me to demonstrate how I flush a toilet. I've been doing this successfully for over fifty years. The problem wasn't me.

Verdict: Beautiful property with a great breakfast and attractive rooms, but not enough attention to detail to justify the price. I'd choose a beachfront resort next time.

Xara Palace Relais & Châteaux (Mdina, Malta): A- 

The Xara Palace understands luxury without needing to shout about it. Housed inside a centuries-old palace within Mdina's ancient walls, it somehow manages to feel both historic and genuinely comfortable. This is the kind of hotel that remembers hospitality is about people, not just thread counts.

The staff was exceptional. Everyone was attentive, warm, and proactive without hovering, which is a surprisingly difficult balance to strike. The complimentary minibar was a thoughtful touch, even if we never found time to raid it. Breakfast was outstanding, included with the stay, and substantial enough that my only advice is to wear pants with a little forgiveness. The location is perfect. Mdina is magical after the day-trippers leave, and staying inside the walls lets you experience the city at its best. When you do want to venture out, Valletta is only about a €20 Bolt ride away, making it easy to enjoy both cities without sacrificing the peace and charm of Malta's old capital.

The bathroom was beautiful, especially by European standards where spacious bathrooms sometimes seem to be considered an optional upgrade. My only complaint is one I have almost everywhere: I always want a bigger bed. Then again, I'm a spoiled American who goes home to a Vispring mattress, which may be the greatest luxury purchase I've ever made. You spend more time in your bed than your car. Buy accordingly.

Verdict: Elegant, intimate, and wonderfully attentive. If I return to Malta, I'll stay here again without giving it a second thought.

Hotel Fasano Rio de Janeiro: A+

If I return to Rio, I'm staying here. End of discussion. Yes, we were upgraded to a truly ridiculous room, but sometimes luxury should be ridiculous. We had a wraparound terrace overlooking Copacabana, a freezer stocked with ice cream, macarons waiting on the coffee table, and enough thoughtful amenities to make leaving the room surprisingly difficult.

The location is perfect. The walkability is exceptional. The service is polished without ever becoming formal or fussy, and the front desk somehow manages to be attentive without creating lines, delays, or drama. Everything simply works.

The bathrooms deserve their own award. They were among the best I've encountered anywhere in the world. The hair setup was equally absurd in the best possible way. Dyson products everywhere. Every tool you could possibly want. Whoever approved that budget deserves a raise.

Did I mention the freezer full of ice cream? 

Verdict: One of the most memorable hotel stays I've ever had. Beautiful, effortless, and completely confident in what it is. This is now my Rio hotel. No further research required.

Hotels of the World: Luxury & Unique

For travelers who seek more than just a place to rest, the world's most luxurious hotels offer experiences that blend exceptional service, remarkable design, and a genuine sense of place. The best properties don't simply provide accommodations -- they become part of the trip itself.

In my meanderings around the world, I somehow keep landing in fabulous hotels. I rarely return to the same place twice, so every property gets exactly one chance to impress me. Some do. Some don't. I care about service, comfort, walkability, bathrooms, location, and all the little details that separate a memorable stay from an expensive room. These are the places that got it right.